Why Exclusively Hooking Up Might Be Even Worse Than Casually Hooking Up
Published July 28, Tags: CommunicationDatingRelationship Security. The answer to these questions help us determine such things as how intimate we should be with our partner and what plans we should start making for our future together. Determining the seriousness of our relationship, however, can be very challenging and confusing.
Casual dating exclusive relationship for us, Laura Umphrey and John Sherblom, researchers from the Universities of Alaska and Maine respectivelyhave simplified the process. In one of their studies, they found keys to understanding your relationship development—there are three distinct relationship online dating long email before meeting and this is what each stage looks like.
Casual dating is the first stage of any relationship. It is characterized by people just dating for fun without any expectation of commitment or exclusivity. While casual dating is not very secure, it is a great way to meet new people and explore our options. But once we find someone we really connect with, we might quickly find ourselves in the next stage:.
Exclusive dating is when two people begin dating with the expectation that partners will not date others. We may still keep our eyes open to other potential partners, but we will likely find it more difficult to find someone we feel is a better fit for us. Therefore, commitment becomes an important part of the relationship. Exclusive dating helps us feel loved and wanted by another person.
Such dating also gives us an important support system for other stresses in our lives. We begin to think more long-term about the relationship and consider our options for the future. If we feel satisfied in our serious dating relationship, then we begin to discuss the future and make plans for making our relationship more permanent. When we feel a greater sense of commitment in our relationship, we are less worried about our partner wanting to leave, so we feel safer sharing more with them.
At this stage, we may share some of our deepest feelings and fears. We feel more comfortable around our partner, so we might start to let loose and show some of our quirks more. However, with that disclosure comes a stronger fear of rejection and what the loss of the relationship would mean. We may fear a break-up and the emotional turmoil it would cause. Our lives may also be intertwined with our partners, making the prospect of leaving very anxiety provoking.
Social science research has casual dating exclusive relationship documented the benefits of serious and long-term dating. Those that stay in such relationships are often healthier and happier than people who only casually date or remain single. So, which stage best matches your relationship? We may not fit one stage perfectly. We may be very open with our partner and trust them completely, but still be looking for other potential partners.
We may also realize that our partner is not in the same place we are. You will likely find, though, that your best chances at a satisfying relationship are if both partners are at the same stage and if you fit one stage very closely. So what do you need to work on? Take our RELATE assessment to help you figure out what stage you might be in and what you can work on to get to the next. Read the original article here.
Click here to cancel reply. You are using an outdated browser. Please upgrade your browser to improve your experience. Toggle navigation Home Singles Couples Professionals. Which Stage of Dating Are You In? But casual dating exclusive relationship we find someone we really connect with, we might quickly find ourselves in the next stage: