10 Dating Tips Every Single Woman Over 50 Needs To Know
March 26, by Amy Rich. More and more, people over 50 are dating every year. We are still having sexfalling in loveand working out relationships with each other. However, the culture one is born into and experiences as a young child in, olympic couples ice skating dating site leave a lingering imprint — and my generation still retains some of those old ideas. And as a woman who predominately dates straight, cisgender men, so far, I notice that these old ideas pop up more commonly, or at least more overtly, for people in my age group than they do for women 30 years younger than me.
While this idea unfortunately dating tips for over fifties in TV programs, music videos, print and media advertisements, and so on till this day, I often feel like women my age struggle with dating tips for over fifties more than the younger women I know because the culture promoted this competition more fiercely when I was young. Girls were programmed to try desperately to be the most attractive girl around; we were taught that this made us more desirable to men, supposedly, and thus to society.
In addition, the very concept of what was attractive was also drilled into our young brains, and unfortunately, what was considered attractive was informed by racismableismageismand cis-gendered heterosexuality. Even more unfortunate, the competition increased as girls became women. I entered college in the fall of and graduated spring of During that time, although I no longer felt pressured to solely care about appearance and dating, meeting a man to marry was still just as expected as finishing college and finding a career.
This value system is archaic and it saddens me that so many men still carry this expectation of women in my generation. I believe actually stems way back to the prevailing attitudes during Medieval times, which instilled in every woman that her sacred duty was to be to her husband and bear children. Dating tips for over fifties does not serve anyone to cling to tired old misogynistic patriarchal patterns, and dating later in life is a great time free yourself from those old patterns.
It is fine to also date hoping to marry or remarry, but my point is to not make that the focal point of dating, right away. Many people over 50 finally are more present in their lives, perhaps because they really understand how none of us know how long we will be on this beautiful spinning world. Dating can be a way to revel in the moment; I encourage it dating tips for over fifties be viewed that way, at least initially.
And since I am mostly heterosexual and know it more thoroughly than queerness, I will focus on that type of dating here. The idea that your date is straight, cisgender, and dates the same is informed by heteronormative and cisgender-normative values. It is what we were raised with. But those messages were deeply sexist, erasing, and validated a lot of violence against women and non-binary people. It is time to let them go! Rather dating tips for over fifties project outdated, oppressive and very boring rules on her, embrace the beauty of a woman telling you exactly who she is and how she would like to be treated.
Besides, who knows what sort of new, unexpected things you might learn about yourself and your own desire. This attitude also has an underlying assumption that much younger women are more desirable, and therefore the man feels, since he is entitled, that he must be with a much younger woman. I distinctly remember, even as a girl, assuming I would marry an older man, since media and TV was saturated with those images. This was instilled in girls of my generation, as soon as we could comprehend the idea of marriage.
Whatever you are doing, a woman your age can do it just as well. We all age, and as we age our bodies and desires change. I applaud a woman who pursues her own sense of joy — be that on a cruise ship, the bingo night, or climbing a mountain. Personally, I ask for that simply because I really enjoy shared generational experiences. That matters to me. So when a man 20 years older approaches me with a sense of entitlement and expectation that I do the opposite of what I set out to do, simply to please his appearance expectations, I find that irritating and invalidating to older women.
I find myself wondering why he is not enjoying a wonderful woman closer to his age. And why he is not respecting what I have specified, almost like what I spell out is of absolutely no merit, and can be ignored. As I dating tips for over fifties in the introduction, women my age were brought up thinking they had to compete for male attention in an appearance contest.
I have had men tell me that although I did not have big boobs, I did have long legs, and they preferred that anyway. Please be prepared to learn that most women over 50 are fairly secure in themselves and are able to appreciate beauty in its many many different human forms. How about we enjoy noticing beautiful people around us, together, as well as beautiful dogs, cats, trees, and clouds!
That is much more interesting than perpetuating misogynistic body part contests. We might not be. Certainly go ahead and bring up those lifestyle choices. We may want to discuss shared interests, politics, spirituality, and other topics, before diving into intimacy discussions. I bring this up because that myth STILL comes up. Sadly, even young women have implied such misconceptions to me, which especially hurts to hear.
That prevailing assumption about women over 50 is informed by entrenched youth privilege in this country, as well as misogyny, and internalized misogyny. The flip side of that is similar to the slut-shaming that sexually active younger women can face. Yes, I received that comment after some harmless flirting, some reciprocal flirting, I might add! Most sexual women over 50 are practicing whatever genital self-care works for them, so they can enjoy, really enjoy, many years of sexual activity.
Men over 50 can also practice self-care for their genital area. We will work with you. If you take Viagra, or a more natural equivalent, do not think we will dating tips for over fifties any less of you. It is not something to hide in horror about; just do something about it.