The guy I'm seeing is still using dating sites. What should I do?
This relationship advice forum will help you maintain a healthy partnership, fix any problems you may have in your love life or mend a broken heart. By contributing to Relationship Surgery, you i caught my bf on a dating site gain RS Points which can in turn be exchanged for prizes. I've just discovered that my boyfriend of nearly three years has been sending messages to girls on an online dating website since last year telling them they are 'beautiful' and 'stunning' and how he wants to hang out with them, despite telling me he loves me.
Obviously this has made me feel really hurt, and I have tried to talk to him about it but he just says he wants to make new friends etc. I've always had some trust issues with him but this has made things even worse. The thing is, I do still really like him but I know I can probably do better. I'm not really sure what to do. Why would he do that? I know things have been a bit less exciting recently, but I never would have thought he would say stuff like that to other women, Surely someone who is in a i caught my bf on a dating site shouldn't be on an online dating website?
I think you should give him an ultimatum - delete his account on DATING sites or break up i caught my bf on a dating site him. Seeing as how you guys are dating, he clearly does not need a dating website unless he thinks you guys will not work out in the long run and he's trying to find someone to keep on reserve, just in case. He should be telling YOU you are beautiful and stunning, not other girls.
I think it is very very wrong for him to be complimenting other girls and to be hanging out with them without your approval. I would definitely not tolerate this in my relationship. It's me, or those other hoochies. There isn't room for both. He cannot and should not be permitted to flirt with other girls while he's in a relationship. He does not need to, and he shouldn't want to.
And that, therein, lies the problem. If he i caught my bf on a dating site ditch the sites and those girls, you should ditch him and find someone that won't do that to you. It's not too much to expect out of someone, it's not too much to ask for. He should treat you with respect, and if he doesn't, you need to draw the line. Good luck, I hope everything works out. Hey girl, I would say that this guy isn't the one you should be with, I know no one is perfect, so is he and so are you.
BUT, what is he doing in the dating website? Searching for new friends in such website is definitely hard to believe, come on, who will be in a DATING site for friendship? There are so many other sites for that purpose. Complimenting another girl isn't a big deal, but calling them to hang out without you knowing is SO WRONG. I know you don't like to be fooled, no one likes it either.
I went through the same thing girl. It hurts soooooo bad! I didn't leave my boyfriend and he stopped what he was doing. Maybe try telling him it's either you or these random women. My dear, he is an asshole. No guys should do that in a relationship. He is using you as an option but once you leave him he'll realise how important you are because you two have been together for 3 years its not easy to get rid of the memories but you should get ready to move on because trust me: Ok, I've seen this played out many times.
Being a moderator at OKCupid exposes me to these type of situations. I'm going to ask you this one question, then a set of outcomes to happen to this situation. Are you really willing to end your relationship with a guy because he's complimenting other females and wanting to hang out with them? If you answer Yes, then do that what you are thinking, but keep in mind the next guy is going to do the same thing.
Everyone is looking for new friends while in a relationship if they want to admit it or not. If your answer is No, then join in with the conversation with your boyfriend and make sure that you both are hanging out with them. Believe it or not, there are millions of people on dating sites that are in relationships just genuinely looking for friends, someone to talk to and such. And if you found your boyfriend on a dating site, the first thing you probably told him was you wanted to be "Friends" before getting into any type of relationship.
I see this all the time. I have to disagree with you on this topic. I actually met my boyfriend on OKcupid. We immediately went from being strangers to dating, i caught my bf on a dating site. We had both conversed with other people, but rarely had it evolved from the getting to know each other stage. With him, we immediately exchanged numbers, webcammed, fell in love, met, moved in together, and we are where we are today, happy and completely and totally in love. Both of us immediately deactivated our accounts after we exchanged numbers even!
You browse the waters until you find what you're looking for and then you get off and live your life. You don't continue to browse and find more "friends". You do not meet friends on a dating site. No one thinks "Oh, want to make friends, I'm going to hop on OKcupid and meet some awesome people! I would definitely throw a fit if my boyfriend went back on there, because to me that is a sign of infidelity, and infidelity is most certainly not tolerated.
Also, who calls their "friends" beautiful and stunning? If it was strictly friendship, then whatever, but this is so obviously more than that. They are together 3 years and no it is not normal Dr Taku. One thing it is meeting new friends other thing is searching for ''friends'' on dating websites. Dating websites are for dating and guy complimenting girls is flirting. My opinion is in relationship if you are loyal you don't have need to hang out with new people which you don't know and only like how they look.
Thing is quite clear here. Unless they agree to have open relationship and have sex with others too. But if you decide to have relationship with one person only you simply don't search for new friends of oposit sex on dating websites. Get rid of him, seems he is such kind of a guy and things he is doing will never change. You do deserve better! You say you can do better, so why stay with someone you have trust issues with?